I admit I was at a loss in coming up with a visual that speaks to learning about a Rule of Life as a means of following The Way of Jesus. And, literally, yesterday the one above came up in my newsfeed. Thank you, Holy Spirit!

Following Jesus and practicing His Way of living and being in the world means that we must redefine our idea of success. Indeed, “a successful life is one that finds us becoming more and more like Jesus every single day.” Such Jesus-y success does not just happen…not in this world. The world’s idea of success is all about achievement and recognition and materialism and wealth and getting to the top (whatever that is!) and being the best and winning the prize and…well, you know what I mean. Regardless of what our path in life is, there is a standard for success on that path and you know whether you’ve achieved it or not.

Even as a pastor there was always a success standard: the “successful pastors” are the ones who get the biggest congregations and make more money and have the most followers online and are recognized in larger circles of influence, and so on. Of course, this is really bad news for the small congregations and the people therein as the implication is that they don’t have successful pastors. By those standards, I was most certainly a failure as a pastor.

But if you read the Gospels, you quickly begin to see that success isn’t really a word in Jesus’ vocabulary…and if it was, the definition would be completely different than anything the world can muster up. Jesus simply wants to be our rabbi so that we learn what he does and how he does it, and then we do the same…and for pastors and leaders, we then model that for others so they can learn to be and do like Jesus does. We follow Jesus by learning, practicing and doing what He does…this makes us more and more like Him. Then we can truly begin to live and be His Body, His presence in the world.

If we are serious about sitting at the feet of Jesus and following Him, then we must be intentional about it…taking into consideration who we are, what gifts we’ve been given, what our individual calling is, what resources we have, what stage of life we are in, and so on. Just as Jesus’ 12 original disciples were all different and all brought different gifts, skills and personalities into the Body of Christ that Jesus called them to be, so do each of us. The intentional way to apprentice with Jesus is to have a Rule of Life that fits you, your life and your gifts.

Historically, the Desert Fathers, a monastic community of mystics living in Egypt around the 3rd century AD, were the first to create a Rule of Life as a way of being intentional about how they followed Jesus. The most well-known Rule of Life is probably The Rule of St. Benedict which was written about 1500 years ago to help his monks translate their faith into habits and rhythms of daily life that would strengthen their relationship with Jesus. So, yeah, this is not a new idea…it is a tried and true idea tracing back to Jesus and his disciples.

Our English word “rule” is derived from the Latin word, “regula”, which was the word used for a trellis in a vineyard. In the same way that a vine needs a trellis to lift it off the ground so it has support to grow the greatest abundance of fruit, as well as keeping it from disease and pests, we also need a “rule” or “trellis” to support and organize our life around Jesus. Just look again at John 15: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing…”

So, for us, a Rule of Life is a schedule and/or set of practices and relational rhythms that help us create space in our busy worldly lives for us to be with Jesus: to learn from Him, do what He did, and live like Him so that our faith in Christ and the Kingdom of God is aligned with how we actually live in the world. And it is an intentional way for us to become more like Him over time…and as we grow and transform, the Rule of Life does too.

A Rule of Life will always be fluid, changing just as you do. It may be more about subtracting things from your life than adding things. And, above all, it is always a means to an end…resist the urge to become like the Pharisees—where following the rule becomes the thing rather than being with Jesus. Our goal is to create a life where we abide in the Vine and bear much fruit…like He did.

That is how we become more and more like Jesus, every single day.

The thing is, each of us already has a Rule of Life…it just isn’t written down or necessarily intentional. Take a moment to write down what your regular rhythms and practices are…do you get up and check your phone first thing daily? Do you worship weekly? When and how often do you pray? How do you pray? Do you read scripture—how and when? Are you part of a faith community—a church, a bible study group, a prayer group? How do you prioritize your family? How do you serve your community? How do you witness to Jesus in your life? How many things do you do that are things that Jesus does? How much TV do you watch or how much social media scrolling do you do and how much do you shop? How much time do you focus on relationaships and cleaning the house and working out? Do you make time to read and be creative or make music or just be silent? All of it matters….

If you’re like me, your list will get very interesting…and very revealing.

One small change I have been working on is to begin my day with my scripture and prayer time….without looking at my phone first. Yeah, I know….it’s been harder than I thought it would be. But I can now do it about 75% of the time and it sets a whole different Jesus-tone for my day.

2026 is the Rule of Life year for me (and for the Spiritual Wellness Community Membership group for women)

Over the years I have learned that creating a Rule of Life is best done in community and with a lot of prayer so that you have encouragement and accountability, and it is guided by the Holy Spirit. My first Rule of Life was created by myself and it was entirely too Pharisaic, and pretty impossible to live out. This time I’m doing it over in our SWCM group and we are going to take the whole year to learn and process and work on it…asking the Holy Spirit to help us build our trellises bit by bit, practice by practice, testing it out as we go along while learning at the feet of Jesus what His practices were. We have to understand His Way in order to try to be like Him…right?

We start January 6…we will work on our Rules within the rhythm of our group Zooms, and we will have work to do on our own. We will also be using John Mark Comer’s Practicing the Way course and materials…check it out at practicingtheway.org.

I would love it if you would join us.

If you sign up at the end of December and take part in our December 30 Zoom, we will be finishing out this year by going over the 2026 year to come, including looking at the whole year’s schedule/syllabus. Remember, the first month is FREE and then it’s only $15/month after that. You probably spend more than that on coffees in a month.

I promise you, if you join this community and tend to this journey we are about to embark on, it will change your life by the grace of God. You will most certainly learn how to follow Jesus more closely, and through some self-examination you will learn how to make small changes a little at a time so that you can become more like Him in your particular life. Imagine what it would be like if you begin to feel like you are following Jesus the way He has called you to do so….imagine how meaningful that would be, and how much closer to Jesus you would feel.

John Mark Comer has 6 tips for creating a Rule of Life: 1) Start small. 2) Think subtraction, not addition. 3) Take a balanced approach. 4) Take into account your personality and season of life. 5) There is no formation without repetition. 6) Do this in community.

All good advice.

Join us. And let’s see where the Spirit takes each of us in 2026. This time next year, may you be closer to Jesus than ever before.

Blessed Christmas to each of you, and may the New Year find you building your trellis with the help of the Holy Spirit.

Shalom,

Julie Parsell

Pastor - Spiritual Director - Therapeutic Harpist - Occasional Holy Yoga Teacher